Bored

I'm addressing this to you since i know your the only one that views these blogs on a consistent basis. Thanks for your unorthodox approach to teaching although refreshing although i apologize for my early departures and lack of participation during the second half of the course. Sometimes i just feel out of place in class. This could be perceived as giving excuses for my behavior I'm just not with spilling my guts about how i feel towards every topics given in class nor do i feel confident enough o convey the full magnitude of my thoughts & emotions pertaining to certain issues. Right now I'm watching High School Confidential on WE its a series about several teenage females from Kansas who have a video follow them around as they go through the trials and tribulations of high school and life. They discuss pretty much everything from sex, alcohol, peer pressure, depression, body imagine, social disorder, relationships, Iraq etc list goes on i recommend your view the series but it focuses on of what you've discussed and what you seem to be interested in. Anyway back to me venting. I'm usually by myself although feel more comfortable isolated from society my personal belief is the world has gone to shit and we are all better off dead i try to have a more optimistic view on life and regulate my behavior as best as possible because isolation is an prime indicated of depression. I love myself for too much to be trapped in that state of mind. I'm not quite sure I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired... but got damn I'm sick and tired...i feel at times no disrespect to those who take offense but as if I'm surround by a bunch of fucking idiots for god sakes someone get a fucking grip.. everyone in new England is complacent with the way things are and change is found with such resistance its incredible. I'm no activist I'm not a Marco or Priscilla I'm not here to save the world i have enough trouble as it is trying to save myself. All people want to do in New England is smoke pot and drink and go to the fucking club.. or better yet the mall.. yea a real hot ticket. Everyone seems set in their ways.. you cant seem to break new ground.. try to do new things and meet new people your not welcome with warming arms lets just say that is if as an African America male in American society i should know my place i guess i have inherent limitations BUT FUCK 'em Fuck'em Fuck'em do i guess points taken away for profanity? this is my blog right, an Internet diary so to speak for me to express my thoughts and opinion of certain things? right?. back to me bitching about life.. I'm trying god knows I'm trying sometimes you just want to pack your shit and disappear go off to some far place where you can reinvent yourself and be someone new. In reality these is the process i have to go through to find myself and whatever profound life discovery or crop i must undergo to find that inner peace. This feels like a prison sentence Ive lived in Rhode Island for the better part of my life i just want to be paroled. But i wont be fooled Ive traveled alot although at first it seems euphoric it only last a few weeks before you realise no matter where you go essential is the same shit just a different toilet Are you still reading this? and i thought i was crazy..I'm just having fun with you but this is where i stop i didn't proof read so i hope it makes sense and if it doesn't the title of this blog makes this post pretty much self explanatory ... Cheers.